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app.heyzippy.io / create
For Maya · Primary 4 English
Persuasive writing: should pets be allowed in school?
Pitched to her levelBuilds on last weekSentence starters included
A hook about her own pet to get her started
Three guided practice prompts, easier to harder
A self-check before she hands it in
app.heyzippy.io / rubrics
Aligned to MOE · P4 English
Practice maps to the same skills and bands schools grade against.
Content, ideas & development/ 18
Language, grammar & vocabulary/ 18
Organisation & structureskill map
app.heyzippy.io / feedback
The classroom was very quiet as I opened the letter. My hands were shaking and I could feel my heart thudding against my ribs, louder with every word I read.
Z Zippy's feedback

You set the scene really well, that opening line pulls me straight in. Your strongest move is "thudding against my ribs": that's showing the feeling instead of telling it, exactly what we have been practising.

Now look at "very quiet" near the start. Could you swap it for a small detail that makes the room feel quiet, the way you did with your heartbeat? Maybe a sound that has stopped, or no one moving. One more touch like that and this piece really sings.

app.heyzippy.io / maya
M
Maya TanPrimary 4 · 5 pieces marked
Ideas↑ improving
Coming up with her own angles now, not just the prompt.
Structure↑ improving
Paragraphs hold together; her endings still feel rushed.
Vocabulary→ steady
Strong word choices, used naturally and in context.
Grammar↑ improving
Tense slips inside dialogue, our next thing to work on.
Next focus: tense control in dialogue
app.heyzippy.io / practice
ZippyHelping with: My pet essay
I'm stuck on my ending. Can you just write it for me?
I won't write it for you, but I can help you find it. What's the one feeling you want your reader to have when they finish?
Maybe that my dog really mattered to me.
Lovely. Try ending on a small moment that shows that, not a sentence that says it. What's a tiny thing he used to do?
Zippy hints, never writes it for them

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