PSLE Model Composition: Trying Something New (with examiner notes)
How to use this page: read the plan and write your own attempt first, then reveal the model and read the examiner notes to see where each mark is won.
Theme: Trying Something New. Pictures (typical): a swimming pool, a stage, a bicycle.
The one-line plan
A boy terrified of water finally attempts the deep end at a swimming lesson, panics, and with a push of courage makes it across, discovering he is braver than he thought.
"New" essays live or die on the fear. The reader must feel the character's nervousness before the triumph, or the ending means nothing.
Your turn: build the fear
Before the character attempts anything, make us feel the dread. Spend your opening on nerves, not action.
✍️ Your turn
Write the opening of 'Trying Something New': establish what your character is afraid of and why, before they attempt it. Show the fear through the body. Aim for 4-6 sentences.
Your turn: the wobble
Weak essays make the new thing go smoothly. Write the messy middle: the panic, the near-failure, the moment it almost goes wrong.
✍️ Your turn
Write the paragraph where your character attempts the new thing and it nearly goes wrong. Show the panic or struggle in the middle before they push through.
Your turn: the triumph and lesson
Land the success and name what the character discovered about themselves.
✍️ Your turn
Write your closing paragraph: the moment your character succeeds, how their body feels afterwards, and what trying something new taught them about their own courage.
The model composition
Reveal the model composition
I stood at the edge of the pool, my toes curling over the cold tiles, staring at the water as though it were a hungry monster. For as long as I could remember, I had been afraid of the deep end. While my classmates splashed and laughed, I clung to the shallow railing, my heart hammering at the very thought of letting go.
"Today, you're going to swim across the deep end," Coach Rajah announced with an encouraging grin. My stomach dropped. The water suddenly looked darker, deeper, and far more frightening than before. I wanted to say no, to make an excuse, to run to the changing room, but my classmates were watching, and something inside me was tired of always being the one who stayed behind.
Taking a shaky breath, I lowered myself in. The water rose to my chin, cold and unfamiliar, and for one terrible moment my mind screamed at me to grab the wall. My arms flailed and I swallowed a mouthful of water, spluttering. "Kick! I've got you!" Coach called, walking alongside the pool's edge. Fixing my eyes on the far wall, I forced my legs to kick and my arms to pull, one desperate stroke after another.
Then, quite suddenly, my fingertips brushed the opposite wall. I had made it. Gasping and grinning at the same time, I hauled myself up as my classmates cheered. My legs were like jelly and my chest was heaving, but I had never felt so proud. In that dripping, breathless moment, I realised that the scariest things often become the most rewarding, and that I was far braver than I had ever given myself credit for.
Where the marks are (examiner notes)
Content (18)
- The fear is built up first. Two full paragraphs establish dread ("hungry monster", "heart hammering") before any attempt. That build-up is what makes the success satisfying, and examiners reward a story with real stakes.
- The struggle isn't skipped. He panics, swallows water, nearly grabs the wall. A story where the new thing goes smoothly is flat; the wobble in the middle is where the Content marks are.
- A reflection that matches the theme. The ending names the lesson ("the scariest things often become the most rewarding"), tying the plot directly to "Trying Something New".
Language (18)
- A strong opening image. "As though it were a hungry monster" sets tone in the first line: a simile that does real work, not decoration.
- Physical detail carries emotion. "Toes curling", "stomach dropped", "legs were like jelly": fear and relief are shown through the body throughout.
- Varied sentence lengths at the climax. "I had made it." is deliberately short and stands alone, giving the triumph impact after longer action sentences.
- Vivid but age-appropriate verbs. "Flailed", "spluttering", "hauled", "heaving" keep the action alive without sounding unnatural for a P6 writer.
Check your own draft
- Plan a different first attempt (first time on stage, first bike ride, first time cooking for the family).
- Spend your first two paragraphs on the fear, not the event. That's the most common thing weak essays rush.
- Check your draft: is there a genuine wobble or panic in the middle, or does it go too smoothly?
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